Welcome To The Harem
The Right Thing To Do by Swith
Summary: Tango de los Pistoleros post-ep. Yves/Jimmy.
The Right Thing To Do
Disclaimer: The Lone Gunman does not in any way, shape, or form belong to me. John Gillnitz is the mastermind.
Notes: I started writing this shortly after Tango aired. Julie, you beat me to the punch! (grins) Anyhow, it?s along the same lines?thoughts during the episode, and after. Much more to come from the Gunmen?s POVs, and I may just take this down altogether until I?ve finished writing it. But I?ll put it up for a while, and see how things go?I?m one of the slowest writers around, mind you.
The dance hall cleared quickly after the police were gone...we are the last ones left. The Gunmen stand together at the other end of the room, talking amongst themselves and stealing glances at me. I want none of their questions, none of their false sympathy.
Truth be told, I don?t know what I want.
Dancing with Santavos...Santavos crumpling in my arms?bleeding to death on the dance floor?the images play over and over in my head and I can?t shake them. He died for someone who had deceived him.. He died because of me and it?s worse than if I had stabbed him myself.
He was a target in the beginning. His life meant nothing to me...all I wanted was the disc. I used him, I played him, manipulated him?and he took a knife for me. He died for me. I killed him. I?ve killed before, of course, and I?ll kill again. But he knew I had lied to him. Did he know how much? Did he know I had lied from the beginning? He suspected, of course?but did he know I was planning to betray him before we had even met? I can?t stop obsessing over this?
I know that his dying was worth it. I know that his death had meant the lives of millions of others. Had Santavos continued to exist, countless innocents would have been murdered. He had committed unspeakable crimes and he would have committed more.
So why am I fighting back tears?
The Gunmen and their horrible friend are leaving. I see Jimmy approach from the corner of my eye. I know he means well -apart from Byers, he?s the most sensitive of the lot- but I can?t handle speaking to anyone right now. There is no way they could have any idea of what I?ve just been through.
Surprisingly, Jimmy doesn?t say anything. He just holds out his hand. I look up, about to tell him to go away, but am stopped by what I see. There is no pity in his eyes; there is only compassion. He understands, or at least is willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. And that?s enough for me.
I rise to join him.
We walk out on to the dance floor just as a song starts up?I guess the DJ forgot to turn off the music in all the excitement. Yves guides my hands into the correct position and we begin to dance. At least, she dances and I try to follow. Yves smiles and gently corrects me.
After a while, the motions begin to make sense. We?re not moving around much, but we are tangoing. I think she?s trying to lose herself in the rhythm and forget what?s happened tonight. Eventually, she moves in closer and rests her head on my shoulder. Now I?m just swaying in time to the music and giving her what support I can.
As I stand there, holding her in my arms, I realize this whole mess is our fault. If we hadn?t spied on Yves in the first place, if we hadn?t screwed up her transaction, none of this would have ever happened. The disc and its potentially lethal secrets would have been in safe hands, Santavos and the other guy would still be alive, and Yves would never have been hurt like this.
It doesn?t matter what Langly says; she wasn?t faking her emotions with Santavos. I?m not exactly sure what went on between them but those were real tears she was crying when he was knifed. And no one who?s just acting spends an hour sitting by herself and staring into space.
I don?t know how long a tango song is. We dance quietly, holding each other until the last few notes die away. Yves lifts her head and steps away from me. I don?t want to let her go, although she?s looking a whole lot better than she was before.
"Thank you, Jimmy." She gives me a small, sad smile. Then, to my surprise, she hugs me.
"Anytime. It?s okay," I tell her, and mean it. Yves smiles again and leaves.
I watch the doors swing shut and wonder just when I fell in love with her.