Welcome To The Harem

Sleeping With The Television On by Rev. Anna
Summary: A missed opportunity leads to a long lonely night for one female FBI agent. Detour post-ep, response to the Harem Adjoining Hotel Rooms challenge.

Title: Sleeping With The Television On
Author: Rev. Anna send feedback to
Category: V
Rating: R
Spoilers: Detour
Disclaimer: All characters in this story belong to
1013 productions. Quotes from Detour were written by
Frank Spotnitz.
Summary: A missed opportunity leads to a long lonely
night for one female FBI agent

Sleeping With The Television On
By Rev. Anna


If only we hadn't missed the wine and cheese

I didn't realize how much I needed those couple of
glasses of Chardonnay to prepare me for what's coming.
Dinner was the usual de riguer meat and cheese
potatoes first night slop they always serve at these
conferences and the opening night presenter was so
rah-rah I could have screamed.

I wonder if that's how I sounded to him in the car,
going on and on about bonding with Kinsley. God. I
can hear myself now as I said, "When I stood on Mike's
shoulders and I put that electric pencil sharpener on
top of the pile, we both knew, we could never have
done it alone."

When what I really was thinking was "Standing on
Mike's shoulders couldn't possibly compare to sitting
on your face Agent Mulder, letting your tongue get
acquainted with my pencil sharpener."

Oh shit. He's knocking again.

"What is it, Kins?"

Kins. I call him Kins. He calls me Stony. Christ on
the cross. This is not what I imagined intimacy
sounding like.

"Just wondering if you're okay. You seemed out of
sorts at dinner and really distracted during the
opening presentation."

"I'm--I'm okay. Just tired."

"You want to talk? Remember, communication is the

No I don't want to talk. I want to go back to putting
my hands between my legs and pretending I'm next door
to whatever room Agent Mulder is in right now, looking
at him through an open connecting door, inviting him
in to communicate in moans and groans and grunts and

"That's kind of you Kins. It's just arriving late put
me off. You know how anal I am."

I can almost see that round head of his smiling
knowingly and bobbing up and down in agreement.

"Yeah. But this weekend's activities should take the
edge off."

Take the edge off? Not unless there's some heavy duty
guided meditation that can take me away from images of
Agent Mulder tied face down spread eagle on my bed,
unable to make any more smart-ass comments because of
the ball gag in his mouth, disinclined to make any
more because that tight little ass I watched walk away
from our car earlier is quite bare and rosy red from
the spanking I've just given him.

"Have you ever been to a team seminar, Agent Mulder?"

"No, you know unfortunately around this time of year I
always develop a severe hemorrhoidal condition."

Is that so Wisenheimer? Well I know some things I can
do to aggravate that severe hemorrhoidal condition
even more. Severe hemorrohoidal condition. I wanted
to climb back there, handcuff him to the headrest,
pull down his pants and spank him then and there.

Oh well. Let it go. No sense getting more hot and
bothered than I already am.

"Okay, Stony. See you in the morning. Try not to
fall asleep with the television on."

"I won't. Thanks for the concern. See you in the
morning, Kins."

Mike's really not a bad sort and he's actually a super
partner. He reminds me of the kind of guy Marilyn
Monroe was describing to Tom Ewell in the Seven Year
Itch: not great looking but you can tell he'd be kind.

Well I've been partnered with not great looking, kind
Mike Kinsley all this time and while these team
seminars are bringing us closer on an emotional trust
level, we'll never get any closer on a physical sex
level than that door separating our two rooms right

I was so looking forward to letting my hair down,
putting on that nice black sheath with the spaghetti
straps that I brought with me and spending the first
ninety minutes of this weekend letting a nice
Cabernet-Sauvignon roll around in my mouth while I'm
pretending I'm Marilyn Monroe conversing innocently
with a hot and horny but a do-not-touch Mike Kinsley.

Then Mr. Pouty Lips gets in our car and all I could
think about was eyeing Agent Mulder during the wine
and cheese reception. Watching those full lips pucker
up to a cool glass of wine, letting the liquid flow
gently down his throat. Or standing at the open bar
and licking the salt off a Marguerita, pretending it
was me.

I probably wouldn't be so bad if we had got here for
the welcome and the reception. But we didn't and
instead of feeling a nice warm white wine afterglow
that would have made me oblivious to the lousy dinner
and the inane opening presentation, I'm here in bed
alone with the television on and no one but Kinsley in
the next room.

If only we hadn't missed the wine and cheese reception