Welcome To The Harem
Luck Of The Roll by Waterfall
Summary: Trying to avoid snake eyes on an evening out. Yves/Jimmy friendship.
DISCLAIMER: The characters presented in this story are the
creative property of 1013 Productions, FOX Broadcasting, and
News Corp and are used without their permission.
TITLE: Luck of the Roll
CLASS: Jimmy/Yves friendship; Yves POV
SPOILERS: passing reference to some events in the TLG series
SUMMARY: Trying to avoid snake eyes on an evening out.
Written for the 13th Lyric Wheel - The Wheel of Luck. I was
given the lyrics to "Luck Be A Lady" (written by Frank
Loesser) from the musical "Guys and Dolls" by Elizabeth.
Wheel rules dictate that at least one line from the set of
lyrics be used within the story.
If someone had told me that I would seriously consider
attending the latest of the Capital area's debutante parties
with Mr James "Call Me Jimmy" Bond, I would have immediately
registered with a rehabilitation clinic for being under the
influence of some illicit drug.
I received some information only yesterday and agreed to meet
a contact at this evening's party, but I would need a partner
to help deflect any unwanted attention. I could usually
depend upon Byers being bold enough to accompany me; he is
accustomed to the more formal social settings and, being the
most presentable of the three, does not look out of place in
such situations. Unfortunately, the Gunmen had decided that
they needed to join the latest media freak show, otherwise
known as the California Recall Election, and might be out of
town for an indefinite period of time. Actor has-beens, a
stripper, The Terminator, and over one hundred of the usual
suspects in the culmination of an event that could possibly
raise the respectability level of the 2000 Presidential
Election, though I'd wager not by much.
That left only Jimmy. With a little direction and some
dressing tips, I could make this work for the short amount of
time to meet my contact. I needed to make this work.
Jimmy, however, needed some prodding. "Hold on there, Yves.
Why are you asking me out to this thing?"
"The invitation is for two." This was not a lie. The
invitation was for two, and I had gone to a lot of trouble to
have a forgery worked up at the last minute. "I need an
"Since when?" Jimmy snorted.
"You just said that you did not have anything to do this
"I've seen the way you've treated other guys you've been with.
I think you know what I'm talking about."
Hanging around the Three Stooges was beginning to break down
some of that sweet naivete about him. Hmmm. Well, yes, some
men have been left incapacitated, some have been incarcerated,
and more than one has ended up dead. I do see his point. I
did promise Byers that I would keep an eye on him while the
others were out of town; however, I may not be able to honor
Frohike's request to keep him out of trouble.
Upon mention of free food and open bar, I obtained a
commitment to my invitation. Knowing that there would be
nothing in his wardrobe to complement the evening's event,
arrangements were made with a reputable establishment to dress
Jimmy from head to toe. I picked him up at the front door.
I had a few items I wanted to review on the drive over. "Any
Jimmy had pulled down the visor on the passenger side and was
checking out his bow tie in the mirror. "You're not going to
leave me there alone, are you? Before this evening is over,
you might give me the brush."
"Absolutely not," I replied, feigning shock. "We're partners
in this little escapade. Why do you need to ask?"
"At times you have a very unladylike way of running out."
Jimmy noisily flipped the visor back into place as a
punctuation point to his remark.
True enough. I have, at times, left Jimmy and the others to
fend for themselves after completing a job, but if they can
not keep up with me, I hardly see where this is my problem.
However, a promise is a promise, at least until weapons are
I needed to be certain that he had some small talk prepared.
"How about some sports talk with the gentlemen? Do you follow
"Well, duh. I played football for years."
"No, not your football, world football. Soccer. I'd imagine
that quite a few of the parents in the crowd have their
children in area soccer leagues."
"The guys pick up some of that stuff on the early morning
satellite feed. Frohike was working on something having to do
with some big-time soccer player being forced to leave England
and work for another team."
Conspiracy in the Manchester United / Real Madrid deal. How
original. Not that the London papers haven't pounded that
story into the ground for months. "David Beckham, you mean?"
"Yeah, him. That's the same guy who's in that movie, Bend It
Like Beckham, right? Langly says it sounds like a title to a
With Langly's juvenile tendencies, he would say something like
that. "You should probably not mention Langly's little
comment in your conversations."
"Well, my football preseason is starting up. The Redskins
look good on paper, but man, did they stink last night."
"Good subject, the Washington Redskins. You won't lack for
conversation there. I'd stay away from any tabloid minutiae.
Too controversial. Discuss your blind football league, the
boys you used to coach, but don't dwell on the unpleasant
facts about its demise."
"What if they ask about what I'm doing now?"
I offer not too fantastic a tale. "Tell them that you're
involved with a new publishing venture. Don't commit to a
title. Should they ask, you let it slip that it will focus on
a fresh approach to the political and social environment
inside the Beltway. That way, you won't be lying."
"But the paper isn't new."
"You know it and I know it, but if you mention the real
activity behind The Lone Gunman, people will stop talking to
you. If you play your cards right, you could get lucky and
pick up some tidbits for future stories."
Jimmy was beside himself with excitement. "So I'm workin'
"Yes, Jimmy, you are undercover," I reassured him and crossed
my fingers for some luck of my own.
I arrive at the destination and turn the keys over to the
valet. I want to hurry inside as the outside air is still
thick with humidity, but thankfully the rainstorms have held
off for the evening.
Jimmy goes first through the little security checkpoint that
is now de rigueur at most large social functions these days
and reaches out his hand to me as I am waved through. "Let's
keep the party polite."
A strange remark, even for him. I loop my arm through his as
we enter the ballroom. "Time to mingle, Jimmy."
Jimmy turns to me and winks. "Never get out of my sight."
Some of the women have spotted our arrival and are giving my
escort a thorough inspection. "Don't worry. Use that charm
of yours to your advantage," I whisper in his ear.
"Stick with me, baby, I'm the fellow you came in with," he
nearly sings as he leads me over towards the bar.
He's babbling. Now is not the time for him to become
unraveled. "What are you talking about?"
"Me and Frohike watched this really cool movie last week."
I close my eyes in resignation. Now it all makes sense. This
is all Frohike's fault. Jimmy's using lines from a song in
Guys and Dolls to imitate Marlon Brando for the evening - a
figurehead of coolness to one Melvin Frohike.
If he refers to me as a doll in public, rental or no, a
punchbowl is going to be dumped over his head.