Welcome To The Harem

World Of Difference by Vicinity
Summary: She's so beautifully broken, you can hardly see the flaw. Yves/Jimmy, Tango de los Pistoleros.

Title: World of Difference
Author: Vicinity
Email: akavicinity@yahoo.com
Category: Angst/Romance
Rating: PG
Summary: She's so beautifully broken, you can barely see the flaw.
Spoilers: Tango de los Pistoleros
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine.

She is beautiful. Especially tonight. As she walks beside me, not saying a word and not looking at me, she is haunting.

I wonder why she agreed to come here with me tonight. She was going to say no, and then she changed her mind. I wish I knew why. I wish that I could understand her, and I wish that she could feel more comfortable around me, instead of feeling like she has to hide. To distance herself.

I saw the way she looked at Mr. Santavos, and I know that she has been hurt before by someone like him. I wonder if she likes darkness and mystery, or if she thinks that this is what she is supposed to want, that it is safer.

I know that she worries about me because I'm not dangerous the way she is, and I don't always understand how she can be so distant sometimes. She's afraid of something, and she won't tell anyone about it. I wish that she would tell me, because I want to help her. I want to make her happy, and I want to see her smile because she is laughing, and not because she wants to show that what she does means nothing to her.

She doesn't talk about her past, or even her life today. All I know about her is that she is beautiful, smart, and good. Despite what the guys say, she isn't heartless. I have seen her cry, when she thought I wasn't looking, and I didn't say anything because she wouldn't want me to have noticed. I just held her closer to me. When she pulled away, when she had to leave, her eyes were dry.

"I used to watch the stars," she says softly, breaking the silence. "Until I learned that the light we see is so often already gone."

"Not if we can see it," I answer, not completely sure what she is talking about. When she says things like this, she acts like they don't matter, like they are from a part of her that has died. She pretends, and I know that I'm not really smart, but I can see that they hurt her.

She smiles slightly. "We see it for a moment, Jimmy, and then it is a memory. Nothing more." Her voice is firm, as if she wants this to be the end of the conversation, and maybe she wishes she hadn't spoken at all.

"So is everything, but it's still real," I say uncertainly, and she pauses in walking. I have the feeling that I have said something terribly wrong. "Yves?"

She looks up at me and her eyes are shining. "Jimmy . . ." she begins, and then she shakes her head. She touches my hand and her fingers are cool and smooth. She lets her hand rest on mine for a moment, and then she pulls away. "You should go back," she says. "Your friends will worry about you."

"And you," I add gently.

She smiles sadly. "And me," she echoes. "Goodnight, Jimmy." She touches my shoulder softly, and then she turns and walks away. I watch her until she disappears into the darkness and then I walk slowly back to the lair. The moonlight is bright around me, and somehow it only makes it seem more lonely.