Summary: Byers reflects on life, love, Mulder, Scully and Susanne. Three Of A Kind, Unusual Suspects, One Son, PG.

Disclaimers: I don't own Byers--if I did, he and the other two would have their own spin-off by now! I don't own Mulder or Scully either. If I ever raise the money, though, I'd be happy to buy them...

Rating: PG

Category: VA, quasi-R

Spoilers: "Three of a Kind," "One Son," "Unusual Suspects"

Keywords: Mulder/Scully UST, Byers/other

Archive: Please, to Gossamer and Ephemeral. Anywhere else, ask.

Feedback: PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!!! :-) drjekel@hotmail.com

Dedication: To Vince Gilligan and Bruce Harwood, for making me fall in love with Byers and his story.

Summary: Byers reflects on life, love, Mulder, Scully, and Susanne.


"She Will Be My Dulcinea"
by Julie L. Jekel

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I have dreamed thee too long
Never seen thee or touched thee
But known thee with all of my heart
Half a prayer, half a song
Thou hast always been with me
Though we have been always apart
--Man of La Mancha

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You're a fool, Mulder.

Do you even realize what you have? Do you have any idea of the precious gift fate has dropped in your lap, a gift that you refuse to acknowledge, let alone open?

I would give anything to have what you have. To have Susanne working beside me, a constant presence in my life instead of a rare, passing glimpse of what might have been in a different world. Only a dream I have dreamed too long.

What would you do, Mulder, if Scully was taken away from you? Not abducted, not killed, but taken away from you by the very necessity that now keeps you together, your quest? What if you had to live ten years at a time, maybe more, without seeing her? Ten years, never knowing if she was dead or alive except in the stubborn faith of your heart?

What if instead of six years together, you had only had two days--two days, with a lifetime stretching between them?

And what if when you came together, you had the unpleasant task of telling her that the man she thought she loved had betrayed her?

You obviously couldn't comprehend that thought. Scully can, because she had to bear that awful news to you once, about Diana Fowley. But you refused to hear it, and you have no idea how close you came to losing her for it.

But you didn't, you lucky bastard. You didn't, and yet you still don't see how precious that is.

Maybe Frohike was right. Maybe we should have called you. It might have done you some good to see what your life, your love could be. But it was that very reason that I couldn't bring myself to contact you. You're so blind to what you have that you would never have understood what I was trying to do. What I needed to do. Why I had to save her.

If you truly believe that Scully's life would be better without you, walk away. Force yourself to be away from her for as long as you can. I know without question you'll come back, within a year or two. And I hope to hell that when you do, you'll be damned grateful that you can.

Someday, Susanne said. Someday, I won't have to send her away. Someday I'll be able to go with her; we'll both be able to leave behind this world of conspiracies and paranoia that I chose to enter for her sake.

I want to believe that. Until then, she will be my Dulcinea, the inspiration for my futile quest.

I would give anything, *anything*...if she could fight by my side.

You are a fool, Fox Mulder. You really are a fool.


FIN