Welcome To The Harem

Picnic At De-Nile by E. Watson
Summary: The Harem bible of the shores of the River De-Nile. Erynn defined our code here, people! Not rated, pure beauty and silliness.

Picnic at De-Nile
Author: E. Watson
Category: Humor
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Summary:A little fun at the River.
Author's Note: This was written for the amusement of the Harem several months ago. (Before the last episodes changed who "died" and who didn't.)

Dedicated to the Harem.

Picnic at De-Nile.

The women merrily lay down the blanket and counted the baskets.
Eight in total plus six coolers full of beers, wines and other
beverages from around the globe. With everything set, they sat
and poured refreshments, getting ready for a toast.

A dark haired woman appeared, walking up the bank. Looking
around curiously, she approached the festivities.

"Diana!" The women cheered.

"I'm sorry," she replied, "but I don't think I?m suppose to be
here. I was found dead in my apartment."

"Not on camera." Said one woman.

"We never saw a body" Chimed another.

"Come sit down." They said. "Have some treats, it?s all fat free

Diana gave a puzzled look, and laughed. "Are you certain I?m
suppose to me here?"

"Of course you are," Said one, passing her some brownies. "It's
the River De-Nile where no off screen deaths count."

Rustling was heard in the bushes to their right. A man emerged,
brushing off several twigs from his suit. He looked at the
sprawl in front of him, and then back at the bushes.

"What the.."

"Jeffrey!" The woman cheered

"How is this possible?" He asked. "I was shot. My father shot

"Didn't see a body." Said one woman

"It could have been a set up." Said another.

"Krycek could have saved you." Added a third. "Have a beer. Sit
down and relax. You were always a little too tense anyway."

Still frowning, he replied. "This isn't possible."

"Oh, Jeffrey." Said one hostess. "You ripped a face off an alien
rebel, don't start in with the this isn't possible attitude
again. Of course it's possible. It's the River De-Nile, where
deaths with no bodies don't count. "

Jeffrey laughed, and popped open a beer. Before he could take a
sip he yelled. "Mom!"

Another woman walked up the bank, but unlike the others she
showed no confusion.

She clapped her hands together. "Oh! How lovely."

"Cassandra!" The woman cheered.

"I thought you were dead." Said Jeffrey.

"Didn't see-"

"I know, I know, didn't see a body." He replied.

"She was only presumed dead." Said a woman. "Huge difference."

"Huge." Agreed the rest.

Jeffrey helped his mother sit down.

"Get me a plate, dear." She told him, patting him on the hand.

A few seconds later another woman appeared.

"Samantha!" The women yelled

Diana jumped to her feet. "Oh my god! But you died over 20 years

"Never saw a body." Jeffrey said, sipping his beer.

The women nodded.

"Could have been a clone ghost." Said one.

"Could have been a demon." Said another.

"Could have been a hallucination, a residual effect from that
man eating mushroom, Mulder was trapped in."

The women turned to look at the last one who spoke. She
shrugged. "Hey, it could happen."

"Come sit down, dear." Said Cassandra. "Join the party.

All of a sudden, there was the sound of a beer bottle being
opened. Everyone looked up at the last guest, who had approached

"Krycek!" The women swooned.

"Now wait a minute!" Jeffrey said. "How is THAT possible?"

The women all laughed.

"Could have been a set up." Said one

"Could have been clone." Said another

"It was just a flesh wound." Smiled a third

"It?s Krycek." Sighed a fourth. "Who cares how's it's possible,
the bullet could have bounced."

The rest of the women nodded in agreement, while Krycek sat

"Is that everyone?" Diana asked.

"Oh no, there?s plenty more." Replied a woman. "They'll arrive
in time."

"I saw the old man smoking behind the trees." Said Krycek.
Winking at the one who sighed he added, "I know he bounced."

"Could have been healed by an alien."

"Could have been healed by a microchip."

"Well, however he survived," said Cassandra standing up. "I'm
going to deny the last thirty years with him and go bum a

"Mom." Moaned Jeffrey.

"It's the River De-Nile, honey. I can rationalize whatever I

"That's the spirit." The women said.

Wine was poured and passed around, by then numerous more guests
had arrived. All lifted their glasses in the air.

"A toast!" They called out. "To the River De-Nile. Where the
beloved never cease to exist."


Ack! Shoot me; I actually used the word swoon! LOL

My little corner of fanfic.